i wanna be free by the monkees

I wanna be free
Like the bluebirds flying by me
Like the waves out on the blue sea
If your love has to tie me
Dont try me--say goodbye

I wanna be free
Don't say you love me, say you like me
But when I need you beside me
Stay close enough to guide me
Confide in me, whoa whoa

I wanna hold your hand
Walk along the sand
Laughing in the sun
Always having fun
Doing all those things
Without any strings to tie me down

I wanna be free
Like the warm September wind, babe
Say you'll always be my friend, babe
We can make it to the end, babe
Again, babe I've gotta say

I wanna be free
I wanna be free
I wanna be free...

i really detest this song. it is so... damn selfish. perhaps they wrote this song tongue in cheek and i am just really too sensitive about this topic. but who does that? friend for convenience? that really riles me up. who falls for that? who thinks that this is acceptable anyway? how can anyone think this is ok? really. it's so upsetting i can't even articulate how much i am annoyed. argh.

sentiment of the moment

"A clean break is easier. You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on. But if you leave things messy and things don't get put right, then it just hurts. Forever."

live life to the fullest!

be less shy
smile more
say thank you
hug lots
try new things
ask why
PLAY!
volunteer
take BIG RISKS!
laugh and make others laugh
sing loud (at least in the shower)
forgive
forget
read lots
day dream
always go star gazing

The upside of anger

so i finally watched the movie cause i've heard so much positive buzz about it. i am not quite sure how i feel about it..

there were so many things that happened in that movie that would have me steaming, but for some reason, the characters in the movie took it as something that could not be helped and shrugged it off: someone crashing into the glass door in the middle of the night. someone kicking down a bathroom door. being told that they couldn't go to the college they wanted to go to and that what they wanted to do in life would not get them anywhere. lots of yelling and backtalking (which i am guilty of) in public (but not this one). not telling the mom about an engagement... yeah, there were some yelling involved and wild gesturing but for the most part, they all took it very well. no one got mad. if they did, they got over it pretty fast. i get so angry at my mom when she tells me not to do something and i make a stink about it and stand my ground. and i would have flipped out about the glass door smashing in the middle of the night and worried about burglars and shit and having to clean it up and calling someone to put up a new door.

i guess that is the whole point of the movie and i completely missed it. when we get mad and focus on that, we forget everything and everyone else. it's so easy to hold on to anger and just be mad at the whole world cause there is always something to be angry about. most of the stuff we get angry about, we can't control and there really is nothing else you can do about a broken door and you can yell to your heart's desire until you bust a pipe and that door will still stay broken. Hopefully, the person responsible for it would be extremely sorry and help out in the cleaning and even pay for the stupid thing. i mean, something must come out of it!

and there lies my problem. always wanting something to happen or replace what was taken. always thinking it is not fair that others get what they want and "I" never do. but that's not life is it? we don't always get what we want or something in return. that's the harsh truth, that is.

I could pretend to love you
Be someone else for awhile
Make you believe you're the one that I want
Give you my heart in disguise
I could be all you've wanted
Make all your dreams come true
Surrender my love at the feet of your will
And live out your fantasy for you
And you would be happy
And I'd make you smile
And I'd go on living a lie
Do you really want to give your life to
Thinking you found true love when it hasn't found you
Do you really want to give your life to
Thinking you found true love when it hasn't found you
I could make you a promise
Be all you want me to be
Give you my hand as we walk down the aisle
So you could live happily
And you would be happy
And I'd make you smile
And I'd go on living a lie
Do you really want to give your life to
Thinking you found true love when it hasn't found you
Do you really want to give your life to
Thinking you found true love when it hasn't found you
Cause this is not what I had planned
I hope one day that you will understand
If I could change this heart I would
And say I love you only if I could
Do you really want to give your life to
Thinking you found true love when it hasn't found you
I could be the one to hold you
I could be the one you need
But I could never be the one
To give you everything

-i could-
kimberly locke